83 Uncertain
by Masaki-Hanabusa
Summary: The scene in chapter 83 with Kayashima and Nakatsu seemed too short in my taste. In my head, this is the rest of what happened.


A/N:I have just started to restart reading Hana Kimi. I read volume 1-3 some time ago, but the person who was lending me them moved away. I stopped reading them until recently I found volumes 15 and 19 at a Goodwill thrift store. Together both volumes cost 1 whole dollar! Ah, Goodwill and other wondrous thrift stores. About 70% of my manga collection comes from thrift stores. I think the only manga that i buy from places like Barnes and Nobles and Border are CLAMP manga (which i have as of now 45 volumes of several of their series). But anyway, I was reading them and kicked myself for stopping before. I vaguely remembered things (except the main plot of course), but one thing I always remembered was Shuichi Nakatsu! And I must say the guy is totally awesome! As well as being an enormous Nakatsu fan, I also have become a fan of Taiki Kayashima! So I have said before, in what happens in the hole stays in the hole if my memory is right, I have a tendency to pair up my favorite male characters. And so, I have made a NakaKaya story! This takes place in volume 15 when Nakatsu is depressed and Kayashima has a small talk with him. I think that was chapter 83. Just Nakatsu left off with 'I...' that I was yelling at the page going, "YOU WHAT?". There was just too big of a gap for nothing to happen. So this is the full conversation in my head. Please do remember though I am working only with two volumes of reference and my memory, so don't be too mean if either Kaya-sama or Nakachi is ooc.

* * *

A sigh escaped Nakatsu. Why was he such an idiot?

"ARG! I can't believe I actually ran away! Izumi didn't do anything wrong, and I probably made him feel horrible!" the bleached blond teen screamed in his head. But then again, he hadn't done anything wrong either. But he was somewhat ignoring Sano. Was it his fault in the end? It was all too confusing for him.

He slapped his legs repetitively. His stupid legs were what had made him run from the table, away from Izumi. His stupid, stupid legs.

'I've already gone over it a thousand times, but...' his thoughts trailed off and he found himself sighing once again.

"I just can't control my emotions-" a roar from his stomach made him pause. "But I can still get hungry no matter what," Nakatsu groaned, leaning forward. The crinkle of a wrapper caught his attention. He glance to the side and saw a delicious looking bun, neatly looked up to see the person holding the bun in his hand, Taiki Kayashima.

Kayashima, Nakatsu's roommate. Nakatsu couldn't help feel a little jealous of him. To Nakatsu, Kayashima was very beautiful, although not like how Mizuki was beautiful. He had dark hair that seemed to probably be very soft and deep, mysterious orbs for eyes. With his looks, he could probably get any girl he wanted. Well, if his world didn't revolve around auras that is.

"Here." Kayashima tossed the bun into Nakatsu's hands. The blond gave a small smile before opening it and taking a large bite. "I thought you'd be here," Kayashima stated as he sat down beside the soccer player on the planter. Nakatsu took another bite as Kayashima simply watched him.

The bun tasted delicious, far more than it normally would since he hadn't eaten nearly enough at lunch. Eating only a small amount as like teasing his over demanding stomach. If only he hadn't gone into a panic. If only his legs listened to him. Stupid stupid glance over at Kayashima. He was usually quiet but he could sometimes give out great advice. Nakatsu had thought about it once before, but he wasn't sure. How was Kayashima on advice about love.

"Hey, Kayashima?"

"Hm? What is it?" Kayashima asked, expression unchanged. Nakatsu hesitated a moment before continuing.

"A friend of mine, they kinda have this problem. This guy is in love with someone, but he found out his best friend is also in love with this person. He really cares for his best friend you know, cause they're friends and all, but he isn't quite sure what he's supposed to do now," Nakatsu explained, using the time old 'friend' scenario.

"You mean Sano, right?"the boy said, surprising Nakatsu. He could feel his face grow red.

"How'd you know?" Nakatsu blushed, arms flailing in embarrassing panic. Although the boy's expression didn't change, there was a small twinkle of amusement in his eye.

"Just a guess."

"Wow, you really can't hide anything from the aura master," Nakatsu chuckle softly before the sadness came back to him. "I always knew Izumi and Mizuki were close, but when I found out Izumi felt the same way that I did, I just..." Nakatsu couldn't finish. It hurt too much. He truly loved Mizuki. The way he smiled, how he laughed, the way he always wanted to help his friends. He loved the way Mizuki made him feel. But the thought of losing Mizuki to anyone, even Izumi, left him with a pain in his heart. After all, Izumi and Mizuki had been sharing a room since the beginning. He could see the way he looked at Sano, the way Mizuki blushed like mad whenever he was close to him. Izumi Sano knew mMizuki in ways he probably never would. The idea of Mizuki loving Sano...it left him feeling on the verge of tears. He really was an idiot. Sano finally found someone he could love; he should be happy for him. And Nakatsu only wanted for Mizuki to be happy. He was being selfish, wishing to take her happiness away.

"Nakatsu, what do you want?" Nakatsu hadn't expected Kayashima to ask that. Taiki looked at him somewhat curiously.

What did Nakatsu want? He wanted to have Mizuki, to kiss him softly, to hold him in his arms. He wanted to run his fingers through his soft looking light brown hair. Help the small boy whenever he looked down to the best of his abilities.

He wanted to love Mizuki.

But he didn't want to ruin his friendship with Sano just to get what he wanted. Although he seemed to be doing good job of that already with making Sano feel awful.

"I- I want..." Nakatsu whispered, looking down at his feet. He wanted Mizuki to kiss him sweetly. When he felt down, he wanted Mizuki to be there for him, to comfort him, wrap his arms around him. He wanted his fingers to run through his bleach blond hair. He wanted him to laugh with him when they were happy, for Mizuki to be by his side.

He didn't just want to love.

"I want Mizuki to love me too. I just want to be loved."Kayashima couldn't help be a bit surprised, although his face didn't show it. It wasnt what Nakatsu had said, for Kayashima always knew Nakastu wanted Ashiya to return his feelings, but the way he said it nearly broke his sounded so desperate, so sad. Kayashima hated to see hi this way. Nakatsu was loved, although he didn't really know it. And he never would be truly happy if it was someone other than Ashiya.

"I'm in love with Mizuki Ashiya, but his smiles, his kindness, they're acts of friendship. He doesn't love me back. I would be happy forever if he showed me a sign that he did, that he loved me more than a friends, even if it only lasted a moment," Nakatsu whispered, biting his lower lip, empty wrapper crushed in his fist. His heart felt like it had been shattered, the sharp edges cutting him even more.. His chest felt constricted. He never felt so utterly pathetic in his entire life. Kayashima simply continued to stare as tears began to slowly roll down Nakatsu's cheeks, his frame shaking. Kayashima had never seen such an aura on Nakatsu, a mix of swirling blue and grey, such defeat. Kayashima could see all of Nakatsu's emotions and usually could deal with them. But now, for once, Kayashima felt totally helpless. He couldn't ease his closest friends suffering, he couldn't help the one he loved. Nakatsu tried to wipe away the tears, but the flood still came.

Kayashima could never truly heal his wounds, he knew that quite well, but he wanted to try anyway. He gently placed his hand on the back of Nakatsu's shoulder The blond looked up with bloodshot eyes. He let out a small gasp when he felt Kayashima's arms wrap around him and pull him in close. He placed his hand on his dyed hair and directed his head to his shoulder. Nakatsu, shocked for a moment continued to cry until it felt that his tearducts were bone dry. Kayashima lightly patted the blond comfortingly on the back and after a few moments, his body seemed to relax. Kayashima's shoulder was comfortable, so Nakatsu continued to rest there as he tried to breath normally again, the smell of Kayashima filling his nostrils; for some reason he smelt of sweet lavender and undefinable spices.

"N-Nakatsu?" Kayashima whispered, nervous for the first time in his life. Nakastu could detect a hint of uncertainty in his roommates voice. He removed himself from his shoulder and looked at Kayashima confused, who was staring at the cement.

"I may not be Ashiya, but I...you are loved, at least by me," Kayashima spoke so softly it was nearly inaudible. Before Nakatsu could even open his mouth to speak, he felt Kayashima's soft, nervous lips press up against his own. Nakatsu was too stunned to do anything. He felt his face grow warm and his heart jump at the contact. But it only lasted for a mere moment as Kayashima pulled away his lips. Taiki looked away, his cheeks a dusty pink. He quickly stood up when he saw Nakatsu place his fingers to his lips in shock. Even if Kayashima could read peoples emotions and thoughts through auras, he was unable to do so now, even if he wanted too.

"I'm sorry, Nakatsu," Kayashima apologized quickly, turning to leave before Nakatsu could respond, before he would yell at him as he thought he would. Nakatsu never got mad like that, but in this situation, what he had just done, it seemed now a possibility. Kayashima walked briskly not looking back until he turned the corner of the building and begun to run, and run, and run.

"Now I really don't know what to do," Nakatsu whispered, his heart beating fast.

* * *

A/N: I originally wrote all of this at like 12 midnight by the light of my phone but the typing is so much harder. I am currently watching this awesome anime called High School of the dead. Im on episode 3. You know that conversation you have with really stupid people who have never watch before (well i have had this conversation). "Oh its that ani-anima? "Its anime" "yeah that! So it must be violent with chicks with huge boobs and robots in japanese right!" "..." Well if you subtract the robots thing, thats pretty much what it is. Its so...like that. Watch the opening (love the song but I hate the sequence) and you'll see what I mean. But if you can look past the breasts and panty shots everywhere, the anime itself is actually really awesome and bloody! Anyway...

Well anyway the ending kinda sucked too me. But I do like the story as a whole. I think I did adequite.

Hopefully I'll get more Hana Kimi soon so I can get more Kayashima. I love so many of the characters: Nakatsu, Kayashima, Shin, Kagurazaka, and Umeda!

Well thank you so much for reading and please review! I need to know if this totally sucked or not! Thank you!


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